Monday, February 17, 2014

Unplanned Surprise

On December 23, I was set to have my period show up.  When it didn't I wasn't surprised.  I knew.  I just knew that I was pregnant.  But there was part of me that thought, well maybe it's just going to be late.  Since having Abby my period has been a bit irregular.  Before Josh I always got it every 30 days, after Josh it was every 28 days and now after Abby it could be anywhere from 23 days to 35 days.  But I could just feel it.  So finally on December 26 I couldn't wait anymore.  I went and bought a test.  It was confirmed.  I was pregnant.

The emotions I felt are hard to explain.  You see after having Abby, Ryan felt our family was complete with one boy and one girl.  He said we didn't need more since we had one of each.  I always felt an undeniable feeling that there were more children waiting for us.  Specifically a little boy.  After moving to Calgary I started waking up at night hearing a baby crying, but there would be no baby in my house, or around.  I attributed it to the child we were missing.  Ryan disagreed and would say it was probably Abby.  I would talk to him about having another baby and he would say no, not right now.   It would just be to much for him with work and trying to get a designation for accounting.  So we agreed to wait until he had his accounting designation.  Occasionally I would bring it up again and tell him how I felt so strongly that there was another boy meant for our family.  Ryan would joke that if we did have another baby with his luck it would be a girl and then I would want another to get 'the boy'.  He's probably right too.  I started praying that Ryan's heart would open to the thought of having more children and it did.  When we first moved here it was absolutely not.  Recently when we would talk about it he would say I'm not saying no I'm just saying not yet.  

Needless to say I was terrified to tell Ryan.  I didn't know how.  I laid in bed with him on the morning of December 27 and told him there was something I needed to tell him.  I started crying and he figured it out.  He said it would be okay although he was seriously concerned for his mental health.  We recently had Ryan to the doctor who prescribed Ryan an anti-depressant and something to help with his anxiety.  I believe it is helping but I still worry for him daily.

On January 7 I went to the bathroom before I went to bed and found some blood when I wiped.  I was devastated.  A lot of thoughts went through my head like how could God do this to me?  First he took my second baby, then Taylor and now this baby?  Ryan was already sleeping so I didn't wake him and just went to bed though I did hardly any sleeping happened that night.  The next morning, January 8, I headed to the walk-in clinic and explained everything to the doctor.  He looked at my cervix and could see blood but could also tell that my cervix was still closed.  That was a good thing.  He sent me for blood work that day and told me to go back on Friday for more blood work.  He said they would be checking my HCG levels to see if it was a miscarriage or not and then to check back in with my family doctor the following week.

The blood work showed my HCG levels to be rising but not as high as they thought it should be to coincide with my estimated due date (according to my period date).  So my family doctor wanted to send me for an ultrasound to check my dates.  Since I was uncertain due to my period coming every 30 or 28 days anymore.

At the ultrasound I was about 8 weeks pregnant.  We determined my new due date to be August 31, a week earlier then according to my period.  The doctor told me that the baby's heart rate was a bit higher then normal, it was around 185, and she wanted to send me for another ultrasound to see what the heart rate was then.
Below is the baby blob at the 8 week ultrasound.

I wasn't really concerned with the elevated heart rate I remember Josh's heart rate always being in the 170's and when I had called to book the appointment for the ultrasound the receptionist told me you wouldn't believe how many bookings they get for this and that it is really unnecessary.

I went for the 2nd ultrasound on February 3.  It was so fun to see the blob that actually looked like a baby now!  The ultrasound tech told me it was hard to get an accurate heart rate because the baby was moving so much, but it was on average around 170.  He said there is definitely only one baby in there as well.  I was a bit disappointed in that because I have always wanted to carry on the legacy of having twins.  My dad is a twin and his mother is a twin.

On Monday I woke up and saw a cold sore was coming on.  It's been months since I have had one.  I was so sad to see because I can't take my medication for cold sores anymore now that I am pregnant.  So I just have to ride this one out.  To make matters worse, I woke up Tuesday with a second one forming!  It sucks.  When I was pregnant with Abby I got cold sores quite frequently as well - like one or two every two weeks.  It sucks because it's painful, gross looking and extremely contagious.  So no more kissing my kids, we are washing our hands like a million times more now.  I just want to take every precaution I can to not pass on the virus to the kids since I have been plagued with them since I was a young young child.

Other than those few things this pregnancy has been great.  I have felt absolutely great!  No puking, no nausea, nothing.  I am tired but I contribute that to a lack of exercise.  It's just way to cold to go outside.  So because I haven't been sick I think that this baby is going to be a boy.  I have always felt another boy was meant for this family and judging on the differences of pregnancies, Josh - Abby.  Josh being that I felt great the whole time, Abby being that I puked for along time, I think it's a boy.  I guess in August we will find out for sure and I can't wait! 


  1. I am seriously so excited for you guys! I wondered how Ryan handled the news, but I didn't want to ask in front of the other ladies because I wasn't sure if they knew how Ryan felt. Seeing your little teeny tiny fetus is fun!! I can't wait to cuddle him! i know its going to be a him because if your like me, which it sounds like you are, then you already know in your heart!

  2. What amazing news. I hope you continue feeling well - congrats Amanda and Ryan!

  3. Congrats! That is super exciting!!!