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Sunday, October 5, 2014

McKay Taylor Nilsson

Our third baby has finally arrived, and it's a boy!  McKay Taylor Nilsson was born at home 3:56 p.m. Sept. 1, 2014 (Labor Day, and as Ryan likes to put it, no pun intended).  He was 8 lbs 7 oz, 22 inches long and his head was 35 cm.  He was by far our biggest baby, weight wise, length wise and head wise.

That morning started out like any other morning we had been having lately.  I had gone overdue by several days (first time I've ever been overdue) and was going crazy with anticipation.

Around 6:30 a.m. I was laying in bed talking with Ryan when I noticed I was feeling a little "off''.  My stomach was feeling kind of sick.  This kind of feeling isn't unusual for me as I do get sick to my stomach often (IBS issues), but I noticed this was different and I was only feeling sick about every 10 minutes.  I quickly got excited and texted some of my sister's that had been checking in daily to let them know what was happening.  I got up and got ready but as I was getting ready I thought that the contractions had stopped.  I was somewhat disappointed, but not surprised at this point.  I had seen on facebook that a store at Cross Iron Mills mall was having a sale on nursing bras.  Something I hadn't gotten yet.  So I talked Ryan into going to the mall that morning even though it was very far north of our home.  We left around 10:30 and during our drive I realized I was feeling cramps every few minutes so I decided to start timing them.  Sure enough they were every 4 minutes.  I was certain I was in labor now.  The cramps weren't painful or hard at all, but they were noticeable so I figured I had a long road ahead of me.

Ryan was noticeably getting uncomfortable with the thought of me being in labor and us heading to the far far north of the city.  I wasn't worried at all.  During our drive he encouraged me to call my parents and ask them to head up here to help with kids.  The plan had been to have mom and dad come and watch kids while I was in labor.  I told Ryan I didn't want to call them until I was certain that it was true labor.  But, once we did arrive at the mall Ryan was so insistent that I call them that I gave in.  I called my parents and told them that they should probably come.  We thought I was in labor, but wasn't sure and figured we should err on the side of caution.  It was a good thing we did!

We went into the mall and looked at the store with the sale, but I wasn't impressed with the selection so I told Ryan lets keep walking and I'm sure we'll come across something else, but I need to get a nursing bra.  So we continued and it wasn't far that I found another store to look in.  I had a really nice lady help me and spent about 30 minutes in there trying on different bras amidst contractions, which I had continued to time and were now every three minutes and lasting about 45 seconds to a minute.   I purchased two bras and left.  Outside the store I told Ryan the status on the contractions and then told him we should go to Bass Pro Shop (it's amazing and fun store for the kids).  I knew the kids would love it, but Ryan refused and said we had to go home.  I was disappointed and not impressed that I couldn't do what I wanted to do.

On our way home I was texting with my friend Amanda telling her I thought I was in labor and she made the joke as well I was in labor on Labor Day.  Ryan and I were also discussing stopping on the way home to get frosty's from Wendy's.  We decided not to though, we figured we should go home and eat lunch first and then go for Frosty's.  When we got home Ryan offered to make up lunch and I told him I would go jump in the bath and see if the contractions would stop, a sure sign of whether it was real or false labor.  So I went and jumped in a nice tub and of course Abby followed.  By this time I was still having contractions but they still weren't that painful so I still was questioning what stage I was in in labor.  The contractions now were every 2-3 minutes apart and lasting around a minute long.  Ryan soon came upstairs and told me lunch was ready and he could run to Wendy's for the Frosty's now.  I told him I wasn't up to eating anything and didn't think he should run to Wendy's right now.

I got out of the tub and went to my room to get dressed.  It was at that time that I noticed I was having to stop what I was doing during my contractions and I was sweating.  Ryan came back in our room after he and the kids were done lunch and I told him I thought maybe he should call the midwives, but truly I wasn't sure.  And I made him call them because I remember one of my midwives, Jane, saying that if I can phone and talk on the phone it means it is to early to call.  So I had Ryan do the phoning, even though I totally knew that I could have.  So at 2:56 he placed the call and was told that a midwife would be right over.

I got dressed in my bikini top, which I had planned on wearing for labor and went downstairs to where Ryan was filling the birthing pool, which his sister Karyn had kindly let me borrow.  Within 10 minutes Nicola, one of the midwives (and the one of the two I had hoped would be there), had come.  She asked me how I was doing and told me she would check me to see where I was at.  I was quite surprised to learn I was 6 cm almost 7 cm dilated already!  I told Nicola, I can't believe I am that far!  I was thinking I would have only been 3-4 cm.  The contractions still weren't intense and still weren't bothering me much.

Nicola quickly set to action setting up stations and ordering Ryan around to do this and that in anticipation for the big events.  She asked us who were coming to be with the kids in case we had to do a hospital transfer.  I told her my parents were coming, but had a three hour drive and I didn't know how much longer it would be for them to get there.  She quickly told us to call our backup.  Well, my backup was my friend Lindsey from church and this was the only weekend she was gone!  and I didn't bother to ask anyone else because I figured I would have ended up being induced with this baby.  So we quickly threw around some names and decided to call Amanda, who had also offered to help with kids if we needed.  So Ryan called mom and dad and found out they were at least an hour out and so he called Amanda and she agreed to come right over and wait with the kids till mom and dad got here.

I had wanted the kids to have the freedom to come and go as they wanted and to be present for the birth.  I had prepared activity bags for them to do while I was in labor.  They were full of coloring books, crafts and a new toy for both Abby and Josh.  Amanda was great with the kids and with me.

As things were getting more imminent Nicola instructed Ryan to apply pressure to help relieve the pain of the contractions.  Then she was instructing us on different positions to try to help encourage the baby's decent and for me to just get comfortable.  I started to feel a lot of pressure and told Nicola that.  Then the urge came to push and I couldn't control it.  Nicola had me lay down on the ground and did a quick check to which she found I was fully dilated and had just a small lip left that I could easily push through.  So I got back in the tub and instructed Ryan to text Deidre and have her let everyone know that it was starting and to tune in.  I had a camera set up so my sister's who couldn't be here because of their location could still be present and offering me encouragement.  Unfortunately through miscommunication on Ryan's part, all he had texted Deidre was that I was starting to push and didn't mention or ask her to alert everyone.  So Deidre was able to watch, in the middle of a restaurant with Trevor and Krista might I add, and Kim just happened to tune in as well.  Kim later told me she had a thought I should check the camera and tuned in to find me in the birthing pool so she watched the remainder of the time.

My parents arrived within the hour.  Mom came downstairs to check on me and dad stayed upstairs.  I was surprised that my mom would even come downstairs and that she stayed for the whole experience.  She had been adamant that she didn't want to be there, as it is to painful for her to see her daughters in pain.  Once mom and dad had arrived I invited Amanda to stay for the remainder of the delivery.  It was so nice to have her there.  She held a mirror for me to see the progress I was making with each push and Ryan held a flashlight (because I had them shut the lights off - it was too much stimulation during contractions).  I also had my friend Lindsay, Josh's friend Riley's mom, who took pictures and video for us.

My whole idea with the water birth was to have the perfect birth, just as it played out in my mind.  While the water birth was lovely, things didn't go quite how I imagined.  I began pushing and could see my water sac started to bulge out.  Up until this time my water had not broken.  With one big push I felt a pop, and a large puff of greenish/black sticky meconium shot in the water.  I said, "oh no! meconium!"  I had just said to Ryan on the way to the mall that morning that this was one of my fears because it would mean a hospital transfer and I was sure it was a big possibility being that I was overdue.    Nicola quickly got all the suction equipment ready and told me that I had to get this baby out fast.  Ordinarily, meconium means calling an ambulance and getting to the hospital as fast as you can, but later we were told that because it was my third birth and we were already progressed so far, it was too late for a hospital transfer.  Apparently, Ryan heard me mutter through the pain of pushing, "Little brat."

Finally his head began crowning.  Ryan watched with eager anticipation, and could eventually tell that the baby was pretty bald, like Josh had been.  It was around this time that Elise, my second midwife and the other midwife I had wanted badly to be at my birth as well, arrived.  I remember hearing Nicola in a very firm business like voice tell her we had "mec" and that the suctions and other tools they would need were on her leg and to get ready.

Soon I had lost the urge to push and my contractions seemed to dissipate rapidly.  Nicola told me to rub my nipples to try and stimulate a contraction.  I did so and it worked but it required to much energy for me to do more so Ryan took over and did the "daddy tickle."  Of course when asked, Ryan made the joke of how he is not used to doing this in front of people and we all laughed.

I was having an extremely difficult time getting the baby's head out.  I remember never having a hard time with my other two and was rather surprised and was questioning my ability to have the baby.  I was thinking how can I do this?  After what seemed like at least an hour (was probably 5 maybe 10 minutes) his head was out.  I didn't know anything was wrong at this point.  But Nicola went into the water with her hands and tried to help pull the baby out but he wouldn't budge.  He was coming out OP, also known as sunny side up.  After the delivery Nicola was telling me how amazing I had done as statistically only 30% of women can have a vaginal birth with the baby being born in that position.  So my baby was OP and I couldn't push him out anymore and Nicola couldn't pull him out.  After not too long, Nicola very suddenly ordered, "Okay, up and out!" and very quickly she grabbed me and Ryan grabbed me and helped me out of the tub.  I tell you nothing is stranger than walking with a baby's head hanging between your legs.  I remember hearing Elise talking very loudly and sternly, "Out, out, out!"  Once I was out of the tub she said/yelled, "On your knees!  On your knees!"  I was quickly put down on my hands and knees on a towel on the floor.  I remember hearing yelling to push.  On my hands and knees is where the most progress happened.  Nicola, responded very quickly and professionally to the baby being stuck.  She had to insert her hand up in me to push and pull the baby out to get him dislodged.  It was excruciating pain!  I let out a loud scream, but within a few moments the baby was born and the worst of the pain was gone.  (Little Josh had his ears plugged).  As the baby came out so did another big round of poop.  I swear this baby was just full of it.  He immediately let out a good strong cry and Nicola placed him between my legs where I swept him up in my arms (where he continued to poop on me).

As he came out Ryan was frantically searching with the flashlight for an indication of gender, he thought he heard Josh say, "It's a boy."  Ryan finally saw the gender and exclaimed, "It is a boy!" confirming what he thought he heard.  Curiously we're unable to hear anyone on the birth video announce the baby's sex before Ryan did.

Anyway, when the little baby boy came out, he was purplish, wet and looking cold, he had his own poo dripping from his quivering lip.  He looked like a little old man, with a scrunchy face and big nose!  He was adorable, though.

I went back into the birthing pool to clean him off and to warm him up.  It was then we cut the cord.  Josh and Abigail were invited to help cut the cord but they were both a little freaked out by it, so it was just Daddy.  After the cord was cut, Ryan took off his shirt as Nicola ordered, and held the baby skin-to-skin, also wrapping it up in a little towel.


I was really hoping that I wouldn't tear, but I did.  The good news is that it wasn't very much, just a "skid mark" as they say.  My midwife remarked that with the way the baby came out, if we ever have another one it should just slide out!

We had decided quite some time ago what his first name would be if he was a boy: McKay, after David O. McKay, the beloved prophet.  We came up with the idea of "McKay" when we were on a date around the time of my birthday at a Vietnamese restaurant in Inglewood.  Ryan brought up the discussion of names, as he usually did.  We discussed options and then the subject changed and he told me how he had been really into David O. McKay lately and reading a lot of Church books with him and Ezra Taft Benson.  He was impressed with the high regard that President Benson had for President McKay, and likewise he loved the quotes of President McKay.  So I said, what about the name McKay if it's a boy?  And so that became number one on our list from that night on.  Later that evening, Ryan drove me to the Calgary Tower and we looked out over the city.

As for his middle name, that was a much less conclusive at the time McKay was born.  We have always used family names for our kids' middle names and I wanted to continue that with McKay.  Originally we had always said if we had another boy his middle name would be Wright, my maiden name.  But after Taylor had passed away I wanted to use his name in honor of the valiant person and spirit he is.  I had planned on asking Deidre and Trevor for permission to use the name in the beginning of August at our family reunion.  But after talking to a few family members I was led to believe that it would be the wrong thing to do and that Deidre and Trevor weren't ready for that.  So I passed the opportunity by.  When I had McKay, I held him in my arms in our basement, moments after his birth.  It was such a spiritual experience.  Really, with the amount of complications I had during the delivery and birth, our situation could have been very bad.  I know McKay and I had someone very special with us assisting us and making sure he and I would be okay.  I know it was Taylor.  With talking with Deidre after going overdue, she kept telling me not to worry about being overdue and that my baby wasn't coming because Taylor needed extra time with his cousin before sending him to earth.  And, I found it to be no coincidence that McKay came to this earth almost a year to the date that his cousin, our beloved nephew, left it.  He was my first baby to go overdue, this was no coincidence.  I believed and still believe that with all my heart.  Taylor was teaching my son before he came to our family.  I held McKay in my arms and knew his name was to be McKay Taylor, but I was scared to approach Deidre and Trevor over it.  I would only call him that with their permission.  So late that night I facetimed Deidre and Trevor and told them about my desire to honor Taylor in that way.  I told them there was no pressure and if they didn't want us to use the name Taylor we would respect that.  I knew Brandon, their older son, will soon be old enough to start his own family and may want to use the name Taylor and when Krista was old enough she may want to do the same.  Deidre told me that she was fine with us doing that and that if Brandon or Krista wanted to use the name Taylor as well they could.  Then I asked her to bring Trevor in to the room to get his verbal permission as well.  Trevor told us it would be an honor to have us do that.  But he was wrong, the honor was all ours.

We love you, McKay Taylor Nilsson.

1 comment:

  1. This was so beautiful to read! I'm so happy for your family. He's just perfect.

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